Just in case anyone's keeping track.
I came back after like two months to find way too many messages in my inbox so I just deleted them all and of course now I regret it. But hey, if there's something I forgot that we were discussing feel free to remind me. I forget everything. Sometimes I forget to feed myself. This is the functional adult behind the pixels you occasionally see.
Also feel free to explain to me why the fuck dA keeps tweaking pointless shit around like the journal submit page? What is this crap? Why does dA keep changing everything but its gross colour palette?? The great mysteries of our time, apparently.
Obviously I haven't done much pixelling. I have been working on and off on a small present of a doll for someone I love~ but I've even got horribly stuck on that. I have lost so much practice and I've always been absolute shite when it comes to face editing. But I will finish it! If it kills me! Argh. >:V
Just this week I was thinking about how I rarely pixel now, and how I haven't even attempted to draw anything since January, and how I haven't touched my camera since last year, and how my writing gets brutally stuck for weeks at a time, and I wish I knew what caused this. I can never know if it's the lack of medication or the medication itself, or if it is something else entirely and perhaps I've just lost all my creative will and energy. It's scary to think this might be true. I have abandoned so many things in the last year I feel like I am close to nothing. I always have to stop myself before I follow this train of thought into a bottomless pit of despair and misery but maybe going there is what I need to make some changes or to just find an ending to this rut I'm stuck in. Who knows, really.
The SparkNotes version of this journal is that I am still poking around other places on the internet, that dA does pointless shit more often now than I care for, and that life sucks but sometimes it doesn't. But mostly it does.